Alzheimer’s Disease is like a slow-setting fog. It gradually accumulates in the mind, and helplessly we watch as loved ones fall victims to the hazy and confusing disease. It also lowers a veil of confusion and unease on the people who have to care for someone who is suffering. They have no way of dealing with the disease. They can’t take it away as there is no cure yet, and they can’t take many days off as those who suffer from Alzheimer’s and dementia need extra help and care. Caregivers have just as much to deal with as those who have this terrible disease.
But there is help out there. There are support groups offered all over the country for those who provide care for those suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia. A daughter who cares for her mother, a husband who cares for his wife, a sister caring for her sister, friends caring for friends… There are a number of different people out there who take on this responsibility and there are people and groups who want to give you the emotional support that you need. At Bickford Assisted Living and Memory Care in Crown Point, monthly support groups are offered to caregivers who need a little support themselves. The support group is led by a trained professional and the meetings are free and open to anyone.
I recently sat in on a meeting to see what attendees actually got from the experience.* My great-grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s so this is something that hit close to home for me. I knew that she got proper care and support, but what about those who took care of her? My great-grandfather, my grandmother, and great-aunt? Did they have someone to lean on? Maybe each other, perhaps, but I don’t think they had knowledge of meetings like these. Regardless, I know that having something like this available to them as well as others helps immensely.
Attendees, the meeting leader (a representative from Sunrise Home Health), and I sat at a large table in a lovely room at Bickford. The subject of this meeting was depression, and how to avoid and reduce the stress that comes with dealing with someone who has Alzheimer’s or dementia. The meeting leader explained that though it is tough to think of yourself when you are caring for a loved one, it is imperative to do so for the sake of your health.
The meeting leader asked pointedly, “If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?”
The meeting centered on The Ten Absolutes (created by Jo Huey) and what caregivers can do to relieve the stress that comes with the territory. The meeting leader went through each one of the Ten Absolutes to help better explain the reasoning behind them.
The Ten Absolutes are communication tools that caregivers can use to cope with the changes that are taking place with their loved ones. As Alzheimer’s progresses it effects different parts of the brain, making the thought process of a person with Alzheimer’s very different than someone without it. Depending on what stage of Alzheimer’s individuals are in, they may not be able to access information in their brain normally, their ability to reason may be turned off, they may create new memories with bits and pieces of memories that they still remember, and so on. So these “Absolutes” are effective techniques caregivers can use to assuage the needs of loved one while keeping the stress on themselves at a minimum.
The meeting leader also gave suggestions on what caregivers can do to give themselves a reprieve if things become too stressful. Studies show that more than 70% of caregivers will pass away before the person who they are caring for so it’s very important to be self-aware.
“You have so much that you have to think about. Recognize that you are only human and try to give the best care that you can,” the meeting leader said.
The meeting leader suggested changing up one’s diet with healthy foods and reducing sugar and caffeine as well as to drink plenty of water and get adequate exercise. And taking time away for yourself to relax and renew is vital.
“Have a network of people to lean on. If you find that you are stressed out and need a break, call a friend to vent or ask someone to come relieve you for a few hours so you can get some alone time,” the meeting leader suggested.
Attendees asked many pertinent questions and gave suggestions to each other, nodding in knowing agreement as they listened to each other’s stories and concerns. Sometimes all it takes to help is lending an ear. And understanding how the mind of someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia works can also be eye-opening. Lifting that fog and having new-found knowledge can really make a difference.
The next meeting for the Alzheimer’s and Dementia Support Group is March 11, 2015. Click here to find out more!
*Identities aren’t mentioned for privacy reasons.